Q & A

Today I will take some time to address a few questions that have come across my desk over the past few years as administrator of our little bracket.  All names withheld for obvious reasons.

Q:  “Do I have to pick winners for every single game played? Or just pick the 4 teams I think will be in the final four? And then save it? I’m confused!!!!”

A:  Yes, you have to pick a winner for every single game.  CBS Sportsline will walk you through the process.

Q:  “Are you going to be at Church on Sunday? If so, I can bring the bottle of wine then.”

A:  Since I do not want the pastors questioning my sobriety every Sunday morning, give me a heads up and we can meet in the parking lot after. 

Q:  “What is the difference between March Madness and the Ides of March?  I was sick from school that day.  I assume they are synonyms.”

A:  March Madness is a basketball tournament.  The Ides of March is March 15th, the date that Julius Caesar was killed.  Beware of both.

Q:  “If I can find a way to email [bracket choices] to you, would that work?”

A:  Not a problem.  If you want to scan/email your selections I can easily enter them for you.

Q:  “I'm assuming we are doing the bracket for the Men's BB tourney, right?”

A:  Yes.

Q:  “Why should I be punished because a bunch of sweaty guys didn't live up to their ranking? If the competition had rested on me alone I would have won. I am quite confident of that. Maybe we could do a follow up ping pong tournament or even beer guzzling?”

A:  Wow, this is a lot to unpack.  “Madness” is the operative word.  It is not a misnomer: some teams will far surpass their rankings while others will fail to live up to theirs.  Unfortunately (and fortunately) no outside events will be used to determine who takes home the wine.  Especially not any event that would require me to drink beer.

The 411

Back again for yet another year of madness in March.  I understand your obvious confusion, “Didn’t you come in second to last in 2010?”  Sure did.  “Didn’t you come in dead last in 2009?”  Hmm, and if I remember correctly 2006-2008 were not much better.  I’m like the Ross Perot of brackets.  Good thing brackets are far less expensive than presidential campaigns.

For those of you unfamiliar with the concept of March Madness (I’m guessing you went to a school where academic and athletic prowess are inversely correlated) have no fear, this is the group for you!  We could be considered the Special Olympics of Bracketology.  Lauren Cowling (LC) and Laura Rodgers serve as our token Anne Sullivans and field questions like, “What is a Choctaw Violation?”¹

So here it is:

Each year the top 64ish (?) college basketball teams from all divisions participate in the NCAA Basketball Tournament… aka March Madness.  One by one the teams are eliminated until only one remains: the National Champion.  People frequently bet on the outcome of this tournament in what is known as a bracket.  The tournament is a very big deal, but after two weeks it is highly unlikely that anyone can actually recall who the current National Champion is. 

Where does the wine come in?  Instead of betting money, our Special Needs bracket wagers wine.  It is unnecessary for you to spend a small fortune on the wine that you contribute; however, please refrain from bringing the kind your freshman roommate kept in the dorm minifridge.  And, although I have absolutely no problems with a bottle of Yellow Tail, past bracket winners have commented on the disproportionately high volume of Yellow Tail blends in the mix.  Let’s get creative in 2011.

If you want to participate, let me know and I will also send you an invitation to our CBS Sportsline bracket (don’t get nervous, it is just a website that tracks the teams you pick to win so I don’t have to do it in Excel) and we will coordinate the exchange of a bottle of wine sometime between now and Game #1 on March 15th.  If you have any difficulty with CBS Sportsline just let me know.  I’ll serve as the bracket Help Desk since that is what my parents think I do for a living anyway.

The fine print: Each contestant can play up to two brackets (one bottle per bracket). 1st place gets 60%, 2nd place, 25%, and 3rd place, 15%. Last place also gets a condolence bottle or two. Percentages and number of winners subject to change depending on the final number of participants. Details will be finalized prior to kickoff. Err, tip off.

In or out?  Don’t be lame.

¹ Choctaw Violation – See “Shot Clock Violation”.