Better Together

And so we wrap up this year’s madness with a two-way tie for first place, an unprecedented outcome for the Wine With Friends bracket.  Though Melanie and I have shared much over our near decade of friendship: a Geology class and a Pledge Class, cabs in NYC, countless meals, flights to DC, two addresses, an unrelenting love for cardigans, trashcan lid nachos, hours of laughter and a few tears as well, and, of course, that one infamous noise violation… I am happy to add one more thing to our list.

To the friend who brings over flowers when you get into an “incident” involving an 18 wheeler…

To the friend who annually offers to send out the Evite for your birthday so you don’t have to…

To the friend who knows pretty much everything about you and loves you anyway…

Congrats Mel! 

Tange and Smel - Klop's Nuptials - April 2009

Smel and Tange - After carving our names in the wall at The Chicken - Pi Phi Reunion 2007

Tange and Smel (and fly and crab) - Eating crab was not Mel's favorite part of our trip to DC - August 2008

Ray, Smel and Tange - Ready for a Mule ride - May 2009

Ode to Professor Stein

Enduring Professor Stein’s statistics class was in many ways a rite of passage at A&M.  I thoroughly enjoyed the class because the man was clearly unstable and I found his instability somewhat entertaining and, if I'm being honest, a bit endearing.  Stein used an owl puppet, Spot, to teach the class.  I empathize with his fear of speaking in front of large (or any) groups.

In honor of Professor Stein, of all that I learned in INFO 303 and of Excel which calculated all of this information for me, I present you statistics on our 2011 bracket:

Count of teams selected by Wine With Friends participants to win:

Kansas	9
Ohio State	8
UNC	5
Pittsburgh	4
Duke	2
Florida	1
Notre Dame	1
Purdue	1
San Diego	1
Syracuse	1

  

Statistics:

Mean	136.8181818
Median	135
Mode	123
Range	91
Minimum	84
Maximum	175

Schools Represented in previous/current Wine with Friends Brackets:

Alabama

Arkansas

Baylor

Duke

Florida

Furman

Georgia

LSU

NYU

Oklahoma

Ole Miss

Richmond

SMU

Stetson

TCU

Texas

Texas A&M

Utah

Vanderbilt

Wake Forest

Careers Represented in previous/current Wine with Friends Brackets:

Accountants

Artists

Bible Study Leaders

Brain Surgeons (Ok, it’s a bit of a stretch, but shout out to Sarah Monning!)

Child Abduction Preventers

Consultants

Graphic Designers

IT Auditors

Journalists

Lawyers

Loan Repackagers (Right Amy?)

Nurse Practitioners

Physical Therapists

Students

Teachers

Tutors

Places of Origin Represented in previous/current Wine with Friends Brackets:

Alabama

Arkansas

Canada (Anna, thanks for taking us international.)

Florida

Georgia

Louisiana

Mississippi

Missouri

Oklahoma

Texas

Utah

Other miscellaneous facts about previous/current Wine with Friend Bracket participants:

-One contestant will only allow her alarm clock to be set to an odd number.

-One contestant has not had a carbonated beverage since 8^th grade.

-One contestant has been in a body cast.

-One contestant’s parents keep the remains of her cremated dog on top of their refrigerator.

-One contestant is so scared of the dark that she refuses to close her eyes when she washes her face.

-One contestant secretly wishes her name was Svetlana.

-If one contestant could participate in ANY Olympic sport, she would pick rhythmic gymnastics.

-Another contestant would argue that rhythmic gymnastics is a competition, not a sport.

1 - WikiQuestions.

Sweet 16 Have Been Announced

NCAA Selection Committee Announces Sweet 16: 'It's The Teams That Won Last Weekend'

March 23, 2011

INDIANAPOLIS—The 10 members of the NCAA Selection Committee reconvened in Indianapolis late Sunday to select this year's Sweet 16 participants, announcing they had chosen the teams that, at the end of last weekend, had won their first- and second-round games. "There were many deserving programs out there, but we decided to go with the teams that won," said committee chairman Gene Smith, noting that because they had been victorious, Duke, UConn, Wisconsin, and the other thirteen selectees would continue playing in the NCAA Tournament, whereas the teams that lost would not. "We know there's going to be some controversy about including Richmond and Butler, but you can't deny that they won. And while we did consider some NIT participants and some other bubble teams, in the end we had to acknowledge that none of them had won any NCAA Tournament games this year." Smith added that committee members would meet again after Friday's games to pick who will play in the Elite Eight, saying they would probably weight their decisions in favor of teams that win in the Sweet 16. 

http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/articles/ncaa-selection-committee-announces-sweet-16-its-th,19799/

Shout out to Angie Fleshman and Lauren Parma for picking Richmond... unbelievable.

Who should you root for?

LC, our resident basketball expert, informed me that ESPN released a pretty incredible flowchart to help determine which team you should root for this March Madness.  I'm still looking for the line that leads to Texas A&M...  Enjoy!

ESPN Bracket Flowchart

Guest Blog: lcblogs

My dear friend, LC (Lauren Cowling), in that parenthetical order, is somewhat obsessed with POTUS... so I asked her to marry this obsession with the tournament.  Consider yourself more informed--about America and about the tournament:

Which POTUS has the best shot at his alma mater claiming victory this March?

James K. Polk. 

By: Lauren Cowling [www.lcblogs.com]

Who else could make a run? Gerald R. Ford and Bill Clinton.

Polk, the small mulleted man who served as the Governor of Tennessee and as Speaker of the House before becoming POTUS, is an 1818 graduate of the University of North Carolina.  Clinton is a graduate of Georgetown and Ford, a former football player for the University of Michigan.

UNC is a two-seed in the East and  is coming off a pretty bad loss to Duke in the finals of the ACC Tournament Championship. So, what do these Tar Heels have in common with Polk?

Not Terrible:  Polk, before even garnering the Whig nomination for President in 1844 Polk vowed to only serve one term and set up four clear goals to accomplish. And that he did. Thus, making him not terrible.

UNC is considered one of the most successful college basketball programs of all-time. They’ve won five national championships and are number three on the all-times win list for Division I men’s basketball. Thus, making the program not terrible.

Storied rivalry: Polk, though efficient and effective during his term, was not without a thorn in his side. Enter: Henry Clay, the “Great Compromiser” and one of the greatest men to ever serve in the United States Senate (and House).  If you wanted something accomplished or passed, you needed Clay on your side. Or, you had to go through Clay to get it done.  Polk barely edged out Clay for the Whig Party’s nomination in 1844. Polk even lost his home state of Tennessee to Clay.

UNC is no stranger to hatred. Enter Duke.  Eight miles apart from each other and no love lost. For either team to win a championship of any kind they have to beat each other—usually three times in a season, if not more.  UNC leads the rivalry 131-101.

UNC gets the nod for “more” in every major success category, but ACC Tournament Championships.  However, to a lot of people Duke has more prestige and is hated more. Much like Henry Clay is considered to be more successful and prestigious, but numbers don’t lie. UNC has five NCAA Championships, to Duke’s four. And Polk? Well, he was President and Clay wasn’t. (The Missouri Compromise didn’t even last that long anyway.)

That one thing: Polk’s hair, which was a mullet, is his one thing most people actually know about.

And UNC? Well, they’ve got that Michael Jordan guy as their one thing.

Ford and Clinton’s teams have a few things in common with their most notable alumni as well.  Ford, an extremely well liked Congressman was never supposed to be President. He just kept getting bumped up the ladder. And Michigan? Well, they aren’t supposed to be fully recovered from their NCAA sanctions yet. Will Ford’s happen chance at the Presidency parlay this young Michigan team into the Final 4 only a few years after being banned from tournament play all-together?

Clinton tasted success young and never backed down from a challenge. Plus, his political successes ultimately led to the political successes of his wife, Hillary Clinton, current Secretary of the State. Georgetown, always the fighter and always a tough opponent to Big East foes gained notability in the 1980s through their legendary coach, John Thompson. Their current coach? Well, his name is John Thompson III and he’s Thompson’s son. My guess is he got the job the job thanks to Daddy-O. Kind of like Hillary. But, hey—a win’s a win.

So, there you have it.

It’s James K. Polk for the win.

Survey Says...

We will have 5 winners this year!  The breakdown:

1st Place:	16	50%
2nd Place:	8	25%
3rd Place:	5	14%
4th Place:	3	8%
Last Place:	1	3%

A New Year

Much has happened since the culmination of the 2010 NCAA March Madness festivities so before the 2011 games commence, I want to take a few minutes to reflect back on the past year.  As Bonhoeffer in his wisdom would say, “just as the capacity to forget is a gift of grace, so memory, the recalling of lessons we have learnt, is also a part of responsible living.”  Here we go:

…BP inadvertently did a stand up PR job for the auditing profession.  We [collectively] warned them:  you built too fast without proper procedures… you can’t ignore the fire alarms… you need to have a contingency plan for when things go wrong.  But they disregarded our audit findings.  They laughed at our action plans.  I hate to use the words “epic fail” but… Lesson Learned:  The chance that my line of work actually matters is one in a million billion but there is that one.

http://www.thedailygreen.com

…In an effort to cut back on travel expenses due to the now global economic crisis, only nominations for incarcerated individuals were considered for this year's Noble Peace laureate.  Lesson Learned:  If the economy is not doing well and you want to be a contender for the Noble Peace Prize, move to a communist country and promote democracy.

…After years of pent-up jealousy over the Kardashian's incessant press, North Korea decided they wanted in on the attention so they launched a few artillery shells south.  Unfortunately, the Kardashian/Jenner family Christmas card was released the next day.  Lesson Learned:  Americans are more impressed by Kardashians than by weapons of mass destruction.

www.anythinghollywood.com

…First Facebook inadvertently legalized stalking.  Then Facebook made it possible for you to farm online, inside, at any given hour of the day.  This year Facebook took it to a new level by instigating multiple revolutions.  Lesson Learned: Oprah is not the most powerful person in the world, Mark Zuckerburg is.

www.gwaker.com

…Charlie Sheen.  There is not anything even remotely redeemable about this train wreck currently unfolding.  Maybe next year.

And so, March Madness 2011 begins.

Trouble in Provo

As you may or may not know, BYU recently dismissed one of their key players for violating BYU's honor code.  I'll spare you the details, but I did think it was worth mentioning before selections are due.  And, for your Friday afternoon entertainment, an article I stumbled across:

 

The University Honor Code

Brandon Davies' dismissal from the BYU basketball team for honor code violations has drawn attention to the very idea of honor codes. We've outlined some of the more prominent examples for you:

• Butler: Pretend to go to classes every day even though the only part of the university that actually exists is the gym
• Citadel: No Second Amendment on the court
• Indiana University: What's left of school's honor code is mostly illegible considering Bob Knight chewed it up and pissed on it in 1998
• Miami: Strict penalties are handed down to any athlete who shorts a teammate on an eighth
• Notre Dame: You can lie all you want, but Jesus saw what you did
• Pacific: Code of conduct is unspecific but says players should never act in a manner that's not befitting the Pacific Ocean
• Purdue: Students must pledge never to build, or contemplate the building of, a drum larger than the university's famous World's Largest Drum
• University of Texas: Athletes are not allowed to take money, but any piles of money they find just lying around the place are fair game
• UC Berkeley: Athletes are strictly forbidden from either killing the buzz or quelling the vibe
• USC: None

http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/articles/the-university-honor-code,19681/

Strategy

Today we will revisit the strategy employed by Laura Brittain in her 2008 March Madness bracket selections.  LB and I were roommates for three non-consecutive years.  The non-consecutive part was due first to her stint in Ecuador and second to her other stint living with a married man in his 60s.  To protect her good name, I would like the record to state that the second stint was innocent and actually occurred under the facilitation of her mother.

AG/LB with Snowshoe Guide in 2006 - Crested Butte, CO

Unfortunately for Georgetown and the residents of 2620, I do not recall LB’s strategy being very successful.

Get comfortable, here goes:

SWEET SIXTEEN PICKS

EAST

UNC (1) over Indiana (8): The heels sport the same colors as my HS Alma mater... the one and only CSHS. So pretty and blue.

George Mason (12) over Washington State (4): George Mason was a founding father. I am greatly indebted to him for my freedom. I figure I can at least give him a win.

Louisville (3) over Oklahoma (6): This was a toughie. I was born in Oklahoma, but Louisville is way cooler than Norman. I've always wanted to wear a big hat and a sundress and go to the derby.

Tennessee (2) over Butler (7): Nashville is in Tennessee, and Nashville is one of my favorite cities. Home of Amy Grant, Alan Jackson, and countless other musical phenoms. I would live in Tennessee.

MIDWEST

Kansas (1) over Kentucky State (9): Wicked is my very favorite musical. It is the prequel to The Wizard of Oz. Dorothy was from Kansas.

Vandy (4) over Clemson (5): "Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously mistaken."

Kansas State (11) over Wisconsin (3): Manhattan. Same name as one of my favorite cities.

Georgetown (2) over Gonzaga (7): I lived in DC for a while, and Georgetown has the best shopping in town hands down.

SOUTH

Memphis (1) over Mississippi State (8): Maybe it was Memphis… maybe it was southern summer nights… love that song.

Michigan State (5) over Pittsburgh (4): Right now I'm reading A Moveable Feast by Hemingway. He talks about Michigan, and growing up, he spent his summers there. Michigan it is!

Stanford (3) over Kentucky (11): My friend's husband goes to Stanford.

Texas (2) over St. Mary's (10): Just givin the homeland a lil lovin. Austin is my fav. Thank you, Austin, for your abundance of live music, excellent queso and migas, and really great running trails.

WEST

UCLA (1) over A&M (9): Oh how I would love to choose the Aggies here. But that would just be straight up ignorant, wouldn't it?

Drake (5) over San Diego (13): I feel like maybe if I had gone to Drake I would have been asked, "where do you summa?" Maybe I would say, "Walloon Lake, Michigan," like Ernie.

Xavier (3) over Purdue (6): Xavier wins for originality. If I could use proper nouns in Scrabble, Xavier would come in handy. Damn Xs.

Duke (2) over West Virginia (7): A no-brainer, even for me. You know the blue devils are going to win a few.

ELITE EIGHT PICKS

EAST - Tennessee over UNC: I know this is completely overthrowing my color theory (orange over cougar blue?!), and both are pretty states. Just had to go with my gut on this one.

MIDWEST - Georgetown over Vanderbilt: If you haven't been to Georgetown, you should really go. It has great little brick streets, H&M, tons of bars, and good restaurants.

SOUTH – Texas over Michigan State: Austin is my favorite city in Texas. Texas is my favorite state. Question: how the hell does Michigan State get put into the "South" bracket? I obviously don't understand how these things work. That's another reason Texas wins… it actually is in the South.

WEST – UCLA over Duke: I just want to cheer for UCLA's players, whose names include: DeAndre (a favorite around 2620), Mustafa (Mustafa Mustafa Mustafa), Luc Richard Mdah a Moute (should we start a bet on where that guy's from?), and Nikola (Ni-co-laaaaa, Ricola-style). So fun!

FINAL FOUR PICKS

Georgetown over Tennessee: One time, I went running in Georgetown, and there were like, millions of really steep staircases all over campus. And hills. I just bet their players are in really good shape if they walk around that campus all the time.

UCLA over Texas: I am still an Aggie at heart, and I secretly don't want our rival school to win it big. Plus, I want to cheer for De Andre and Luc Richard a bit longer.

CHAMPIONSHIP

Georgetown over UCLA: Not much of an underdog, but an underdog just the same. Since my chances of winning anything in this tournament are slim to none, might as well, right?

Q & A

Today I will take some time to address a few questions that have come across my desk over the past few years as administrator of our little bracket.  All names withheld for obvious reasons.

Q:  “Do I have to pick winners for every single game played? Or just pick the 4 teams I think will be in the final four? And then save it? I’m confused!!!!”

A:  Yes, you have to pick a winner for every single game.  CBS Sportsline will walk you through the process.

Q:  “Are you going to be at Church on Sunday? If so, I can bring the bottle of wine then.”

A:  Since I do not want the pastors questioning my sobriety every Sunday morning, give me a heads up and we can meet in the parking lot after. 

Q:  “What is the difference between March Madness and the Ides of March?  I was sick from school that day.  I assume they are synonyms.”

A:  March Madness is a basketball tournament.  The Ides of March is March 15th, the date that Julius Caesar was killed.  Beware of both.

Q:  “If I can find a way to email [bracket choices] to you, would that work?”

A:  Not a problem.  If you want to scan/email your selections I can easily enter them for you.

Q:  “I'm assuming we are doing the bracket for the Men's BB tourney, right?”

A:  Yes.

Q:  “Why should I be punished because a bunch of sweaty guys didn't live up to their ranking? If the competition had rested on me alone I would have won. I am quite confident of that. Maybe we could do a follow up ping pong tournament or even beer guzzling?”

A:  Wow, this is a lot to unpack.  “Madness” is the operative word.  It is not a misnomer: some teams will far surpass their rankings while others will fail to live up to theirs.  Unfortunately (and fortunately) no outside events will be used to determine who takes home the wine.  Especially not any event that would require me to drink beer.

The 411

Back again for yet another year of madness in March.  I understand your obvious confusion, “Didn’t you come in second to last in 2010?”  Sure did.  “Didn’t you come in dead last in 2009?”  Hmm, and if I remember correctly 2006-2008 were not much better.  I’m like the Ross Perot of brackets.  Good thing brackets are far less expensive than presidential campaigns.

For those of you unfamiliar with the concept of March Madness (I’m guessing you went to a school where academic and athletic prowess are inversely correlated) have no fear, this is the group for you!  We could be considered the Special Olympics of Bracketology.  Lauren Cowling (LC) and Laura Rodgers serve as our token Anne Sullivans and field questions like, “What is a Choctaw Violation?”¹

So here it is:

Each year the top 64ish (?) college basketball teams from all divisions participate in the NCAA Basketball Tournament… aka March Madness.  One by one the teams are eliminated until only one remains: the National Champion.  People frequently bet on the outcome of this tournament in what is known as a bracket.  The tournament is a very big deal, but after two weeks it is highly unlikely that anyone can actually recall who the current National Champion is. 

Where does the wine come in?  Instead of betting money, our Special Needs bracket wagers wine.  It is unnecessary for you to spend a small fortune on the wine that you contribute; however, please refrain from bringing the kind your freshman roommate kept in the dorm minifridge.  And, although I have absolutely no problems with a bottle of Yellow Tail, past bracket winners have commented on the disproportionately high volume of Yellow Tail blends in the mix.  Let’s get creative in 2011.

If you want to participate, let me know and I will also send you an invitation to our CBS Sportsline bracket (don’t get nervous, it is just a website that tracks the teams you pick to win so I don’t have to do it in Excel) and we will coordinate the exchange of a bottle of wine sometime between now and Game #1 on March 15th.  If you have any difficulty with CBS Sportsline just let me know.  I’ll serve as the bracket Help Desk since that is what my parents think I do for a living anyway.

The fine print: Each contestant can play up to two brackets (one bottle per bracket). 1st place gets 60%, 2nd place, 25%, and 3rd place, 15%. Last place also gets a condolence bottle or two. Percentages and number of winners subject to change depending on the final number of participants. Details will be finalized prior to kickoff. Err, tip off.

In or out?  Don’t be lame.

¹ Choctaw Violation – See “Shot Clock Violation”.